I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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