You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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