sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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