Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
