No awkward lesbian experiences without me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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