Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
