Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
