:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it glows. i had to have it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
