Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
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These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
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I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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