it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize