hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
