people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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