I'm really into asian looking animals
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
