idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
