I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't turn off my feet"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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