I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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