My nipple is on Facebook.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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