wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
