literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
