Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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