There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
