Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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