Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
