did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When are your genitals available?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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