Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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