areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
