We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
