I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
