You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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