u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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