We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
