What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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