I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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