420 ftw
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
