So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
