i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize