He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
