OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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