cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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