Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
