$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
