I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
