You work out of a Hotel?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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