So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
