So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
