Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize