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• (906): View more from Michigan

  didnt we say no more talking to eachother

  (906): View more from Michigan

  it will help you get over me i promise

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  im horny

  (906): View more from Michigan

  ok i will unlock the door

  Fav 16 2992 974

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

  Fav 15 827 2619

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.

  Fav 8 5289 881

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.

  Fav 11 4598 1319

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.

  Fav 16 3331 1361

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

  Fav 14 1642 4834

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.

  Fav 6 3182 841

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.

  Fav 1 1418 644

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.

  Fav 5 1783 828

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?

  Fav 9 774 1227

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Speaking

  Fav 1 1086 592

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.

  Fav 0 146 73

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Hungover. No words. Just memes.

  Fav 2 56 16

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