In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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