yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
