You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
