There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
