you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
