someone get that fucking seahorse.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
