I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
