I'm gonna have a badass scar
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
