I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
