oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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