i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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