So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
