you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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