I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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