It's like God shit irony all over that family
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
