i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
