i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
