I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
