Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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