this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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