At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
